Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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