you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
A+ Viking dick
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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