Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
