look no pants
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
