i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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