Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
