my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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