so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
