better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
