A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
