that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
