Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
