Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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