You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
