we were pretty classy up until the second keg
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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