I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
