YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
