That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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