Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
