I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
