Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
