And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
