we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
