The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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