I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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