Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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