Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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