no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
