she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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