Your tits are I can't wait for
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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