Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
