I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
40s are totally the cure
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
