Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
