I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he told me I talked like a deaf person
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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