Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Randomize
