He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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