she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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