Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
