I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
