I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
