when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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