Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
