Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
