I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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