So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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