did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
