I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
