Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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