For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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