Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
